breakfast for dinner is fun when you’re a kid but when you’re an adult it’s just like “yo i ate lunch at 5 PM today and linear time is functionally meaningless”
i think the most inaccurate part of the reboot movies is that jim kirk hasn’t ripped his shirt yet. not once. did they even watch tos?? he ripped his shirt like every three episodes.
when im a parent i won’t take my kid’s electronics when they get in trouble i’ll just take the charger so i can watch the fear in their eyes as they use it less and less while the battery slowly begins to run out
i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again
YOU DO NOT NEED TO BRING YOUR GUN TO THE GROCERY STORE
how does america even function like it sounds like a video game or something. grand theft freedom.
those moments when straight people assume you’re one of them and you feel like a gay secret agent
it’s an ace case
imagining your otp doing the forehead touch is literally the most important thing in the whole world. everybody take a second and stop scrolling and imagine your otp doing the forehead touch. okay. you can move on now.
why was i followed by a pest control company??
more importantly why does a pest control company that only deals with gophers exist?????
When tree branches get in my way
Vine by: Logan Paul
How we manage to cram such genius in 6 seconds is beyond me. This is art.
in my senior drama class i had to play gordon ramsay for a film project but we could only film in school so we had to try to find a closed off room to use. the thing is the room wasn’t exactly soundproof and apparently someone heard us and that’s the story of how the vice principal and four freshmen walked in on me wearing a chef’s hat and yelling at my friend because her squid was so raw i could still hear it telling spongebob to fuck off
did you get an A
"Just lucky, I guess."
Dear lord Kirk people can see you.
what guys say PMS does:
- turns women into emotional bitches
what PMS actually does:
- increases breast size from retaining water
- increases sex drive
- lowers a woman’s tolerance for sexism
also it ups our testosterone levels which makes their complaints incredibly ironic
Leonard McCoy: patron saint of grumpybutts.
Our Leonard who art in sickbay
Hallow’d be thy Eyebrow
Thy nurses run
Thy physicals be done
On Earth as they are in this flying tin can
Give us this day our daily hypospray
And forgive us our away missions
As we forgive those who pull phasers against us
Lead us not into the transporter
But deliver us from Andorian shingles
For thine is the biobed, the quarantine and the Captain
Now and until the hull cracks and our blood boils in thirteen seconds
Did you just call the Enterprise a flying tin can?
This little guy was one of the last babies of the summer last year. He knew exactly how to get all the attention